do you ever feel like a blank space? and no I am not referring to the space that "needs" to be filled with a man like the blonde Swift states in her song.
but do you ever feel like you just exist? not actually live?
I'm stuck in that spot. I want to do more....but I don't exactly know what to do. I want to live my life gloriously making my Savior smile. I want to be more productive in my Christian walk. do more for Jesus. ya feel me?
right now, I feel like my life consists of school and school and school. and being that I don't have a job, after school, I sit around trying to find creative ways to fill up my time. I imagine myself writing a beautiful poem or creating a scrapbook or going for a jog (ha). but I always end up sitting on Pinterest for way longer than I would prefer to admit and eating pizza and mac and cheese.
I feel like my Christian life should be more than this. they always say not to wait until you become an adult to make a difference for God. but I'm not really seeing what I can be doing right now other than spending personal time in God's Word and attending church. sure I commit to those joyfully everyday! but I often wonder how I can be a better influence for Jesus.
I feel like I have more potential than this. how can I tap into that?
I always see myself as an adult living fulling in God's Presence and being blessed in the endeavors He has placed in front of me. but I shouldn't be naive to think that as soon as I'm out in the world, I'm going to have figured out what God wants out of me. like I'll suddenly have it all figured out.
obviously I know that's not gonna happen. it's just a lofty dream.
I learn about great evangelists during the Great Awakening or simple laymen who makes great spiritual differences in their towns. it wasn't their own power and might that they came to achieve such "fame". everything they accomplished was only through God working THROUGH them! everyone has the potential to make a difference like they did if they have the Holy Spirit living inside them. but it's sad that most modern day Christians are only living up to just a sliver of their spiritual potential.
the revivals that have occurred over the years were so profoundly influential because those men and women decided to be completely filled with the Spirit!
what a different world this would be if all Christians could do the same.
live joyfully, fully, and completely in God's Presence and purpose for each of our lives.
so that's where I am.
earnestly, honestly praying for God to do a work in my life that could change many. although I don't know what that is yet. but I am tired of sitting around. I don't want to be a blank space who lives an unfilled Christian life. I want to live for God to the fullest! so that one day I can say boldly as Paul states:
I Corinthians 15:10
"But by the grace of God I am what I am: and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; but I laboured more abundantly than they all: yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me."
I pray that the grace God has bestowed upon me is not in vain. but that I can labor abundantly.
all for Jesus.