4.07.2015

BLANK SPACE


do you ever feel like a blank space? and no I am not referring to the space that "needs" to be filled with a man like the blonde Swift states in her song.
but do you ever feel like you just exist? not actually live?

I'm stuck in that spot. I want to do more....but I don't exactly know what to do. I want to live my life gloriously making my Savior smile. I want to be more productive in my Christian walk. do more for Jesus. ya feel me?

right now, I feel like my life consists of school and school and school. and being that I don't have a job, after school, I sit around trying to find creative ways to fill up my time. I imagine myself writing a beautiful poem or creating a scrapbook or going for a jog (ha). but I always end up sitting on Pinterest for way longer than I would prefer to admit and eating pizza and mac and cheese.

I feel like my Christian life should be more than this. they always say not to wait until you become an adult to make a difference for God. but I'm not really seeing what I can be doing right now other than spending personal time in God's Word and attending church. sure I commit to those joyfully everyday! but I often wonder how I can be a better influence for Jesus.

I feel like I have more potential than this. how can I tap into that?

I always see myself as an adult living fulling in God's Presence and being blessed in the endeavors He has placed in front of me. but I shouldn't be naive to think that as soon as I'm out in the world, I'm going to have figured out what God wants out of me. like I'll suddenly have it all figured out.

obviously I know that's not gonna happen. it's just a lofty dream.

I learn about great evangelists during the Great Awakening or simple laymen who makes great spiritual differences in their towns. it wasn't their own power and might that they came to achieve such "fame". everything they accomplished was only through God working THROUGH them! everyone has the potential to make a difference like they did if they have the Holy Spirit living inside them. but it's sad that most modern day Christians are only living up to just a sliver of their spiritual potential.

the revivals that have occurred over the years were so profoundly influential because those men and women decided to be completely filled with the Spirit!

what a different world this would be if all Christians could do the same.
live joyfully, fully, and completely in God's Presence and purpose for each of our lives.

so that's where I am.

earnestly, honestly praying for God to do a work in my life that could change many. although I don't know what that is yet. but I am tired of sitting around. I don't want to be a blank space who lives an unfilled Christian life. I want to live for God to the fullest! so that one day I can say boldly as Paul states:

I Corinthians 15:10
"But by the grace of God I am what I am: and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; but I laboured more abundantly than they all: yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me."


I pray that the grace God has bestowed upon me is not in vain. but that I can labor abundantly.


all for Jesus.

4.05.2015

REDEMPTION

I was kind of hoping to write some sort for redemption post.
I know I haven't blogged in awhile. and I shouldn't be too worried about it because it's not like I have this huge, loyal following. but that is not why I need redemption...
I was reading through some of my old posts and boy.....how could anyone stand to read the ridiculousness of my 8th grade self? (not that my 11th grade self is tremendously better. but I would at least hope I have matured in some ways over the past couple years ;)

there have been plenty of exciting things that have occurred in my life over the past year or two that I have neglected to blog. but for some reason (possibly my new-found Instagram obsession) I didn't think it important enough to blog about. another reason might have been that I feel like I don't need to have my life be completely accountable to the internet.

I think a break was good. I tried out some new social media things. but I miss blogging. I really do. blogging is a dying art and plenty of my friends think it's absolutely strange that I still have a blog (regardless of it's lack of frequent posting) in this current year of 2015. I mean...because 2015 must be so socially advanced from a good old fashioned sharing of daily photos and an honest paragraph or two? it's certainly more civil than some social media endeavors that have been invented these past few years.

so here I am. trying to revive this tired blog. I'm not making any promises about how well I will try to maintain this burst of blogging fever (I'll be lucky if I post every couple months).
heck. this is my blog. I don't need to make any promises to anyone. so I shall blog as I please...haha.
but I have had an itching to write lately. but the fact that I can never become pleased with anything I type may lead to the struggle of whether to post...thus resulting in extended absences ;)

let me review my 2014 briefly.

in February, my family went to San Diego. and after editing the lot of pictures....I realized that I literally didn't take any pictures with people; any pictures of us spending quality time together. so that's a bummer. therefore, I will share some aesthetic beach photos.


















in April, my parents and I helped my Massachusetts Aunt move cross country to Illinois. we helped her pack up her belongings and then took the 2 day road trip to her new house in Moline, Illinois. I do have to say it was a pretty drive...even though I slept most of the way. riding in the big Penske with dad though. that was an adventure.








since my older sister moved across the state to Aberdeen, South Dakota, in June, my family and I have made several trips to Aberdeen for various reasons over the past year. I have a whole group of friends over there that I love to spend time with. I originally met them at summer camp but they have become such good friends to me the more we spend time together. I miss them.
  



(camp aftermath) 










In July, I celebrated my 16th birthday with a big Avengers themed bash! Needless to say, it was one of the best parts of my summer. we all had so much fun messing around and having fun!













from November-February basketball season ensued as it usually does at that time of year. this year so much fun. our team was composed of the best girls anyone could ask for. making this my favorite season (like I normally say after every season ;) I'm #1...no literally.










we spent our Christmas in Utah along with my sister, brother-in-law, nephew and newborn twin nieces. it was so lovely to have a Christmas snow fall for the first time in a long time.







so yeah. there's my 2014 in review.

hopefully we'll talk soon.

and also.


Happy Resurrection Sunday!



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